GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
