Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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