Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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