Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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