Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
