I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
