escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
