Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize