I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
