You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
