I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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