Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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