I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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