I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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