You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
