Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
