Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize