It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
