have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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