finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize