I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
