Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize