you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This is the high leading the old right now
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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