brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
