dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
