i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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