I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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