I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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