..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
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There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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