My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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