I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
