Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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