Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
