So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
