well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
