I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
