Only a mothe r could love this liver
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Houston, we have a blender
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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