If i come over, it means nothing
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
