I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
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I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
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Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize