so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
