That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sorry about my life...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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