can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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