If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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