have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
