And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize