Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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