I could have mohawked her pubes.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
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So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
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u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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