Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
