I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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