dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
