I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
