Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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