Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize