Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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