I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
