How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
