you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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