Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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